supportive measures
When referring to your underclothes, do you say underwear or the word that starts with P and rhymes with anties? The latter conjures up images of Anthony Michael Hall from Pretty in Pink with braces at a dance holding a pair of Molly Ringwald’s _________(fill in the blank).
Those of you who know me well and have seen me at my best - when I first wake up in the morning - know my preferred outfit is a tee shirt, preferably one I have cut around the collar, a blanket wrapped around my waist and my disintegrating baby blankie which now looks more like a rag, by my side. My hair is a matted mess in the back, a rat’s nest my mom used to say, and I may or may not be wearing "coke bottle” glasses.
She was always so put together, my mom. She never came downstairs looking like I do in the morning. Sometimes she had a robe on but she would also have put on her red lipstick and clip on earrings. I keep waiting for put togetherness to happen to me. I expect it comes with age. But I have not seen any evidence of this yet.
Izzy just asked me if I still had my pajamas on. My response, “Nobody knows.” When she still looked at me quizzically, I said, “half and half”. I prefer ponytails and weird pants over less weird pants. One day last week I wore my tie-dye pants and a button down. Business up top, Grateful Dead on the bottom. I’m sensing at least some improvement. Remember progress over perfection!
I now know why my mom was partial to v-necks and button downs over crewnecks. The truth is if you have ample bosom, a crewneck pulls in all the wrong places making you look too perky or too saggy, depending on the supportive measures you are taking.
I had a birthday last week. And I am thankful I get to be another year older. I also went to the dentist and she suggested Botox. I said, “I’ll think about it” which really meant, “No.” Never say never. But right now I don’t want any unnecessary needles coming at my face just like Cher’s classmate in the movie, Clueless tells her P.E. instructor that she can’t do any activities where balls fly at her nose. To which Dion says, “there goes her social life.”
It is raining buckets. And I spent all last weekend in doors. I watched Father of the Bride AND the sequel AND asked Alexa if there was a third one. Yes, I have reached a new low. No, there isn’t a Father of the Bride trilogy. But never say never. I am obsessed with the dance routine Franc, played by Martin Short, does with Diane Keaton and her daughter, both pregnant, and both in unitards. We also discovered that Diane Keaton and Steve Martin are the same age in that movie that my husband and I are now. I am not sure if this made us feel better or worse.
Back to the topic of supportive measures, there are a lot of serious things happening right now demanding our attention but we are never going to be able to cope with any of it, if we don’t put on our big boy or girl eh em panties and have a little fun on the side. As the Grateful Dead sang, “We will get by.”