calhoun, take me away

I have a question for you, how many passwords did you reset today? Just one so far for me but there will be more. My computer is always telling me what to do and I don’t like it. You need to reset your password and then they don’t approve of the one I choose. It screams, “You need a stronger password; numbers and letters, some with upper case letters, and it needs to rhyme!” “Here, we chose one for you: jos-iu111hkour[q2ou-wroem-miuweoi%%$^&T@I.” Great, thanks, I love it! I can’t remember where I parked my car but I will definitely remember this password!

Also, I know this is going to be an unpopular opinion but am I the only one that thinks the doodle thing is getting out of hand? Often when I pet a puppy these days and ask what kind of breed it is - which is really none of my business – the response ranges from a Bernerdoodle, Aussiedoodle, Dalmadoodle, or Doodleydoodle. It’s rarely a labradoodle or a goldendoodle anymore. Okay, I’ve never met a Dalmadoodle and I made up Doodleydoodle. It’s not the poor dog’s fault; I love all dogs, but what is wrong with some hair all over every single thing in one’s home? Is everyone really allergic? I mean good for the poodles, they really get around like Iris from the movie, Can’t Buy Me Love who “has given more rides than Greyhound.”

Also, I sent an email to my kid’s school letting them know my daughter would be out of school with the subject line, Calgon take me away, except autocorrect wrote Calhoun.  

I’ve been thinking a lot about support and clearly, I need some. I have a crocheted emotional support pickle given to me by my sister, a crocheted emotional support dumpster fire that I won at a Christmas party, and an emotional support water bottle, but they aren’t cutting it.

I think I’m a little to medium smart but jokes aside, one of the things I’m most proud of, is knowing when I need support and going after it or simply accepting it when it appears. When I had my first baby, I was exhausted so when my mother-in-law started helping with our laundry, yes, I was embarrassed thinking about her folding my underwear but that quickly dissipated, giving way to my need for rest. And her folding is nothing short of exquisite artistry anyway. Last week with sick kids at home, and my husband out of town, my friend dropped off soup and dinner and I wanted to hug her for all of eternity.

When I listen to women in my circles talk about managing busy lives and the overall health and happiness of their own lives as well as those of family, I often ask, what kind of support do you think would be helpful right now? After a cancer diagnosis, shared that what was most helpful to her was people simply asking, “How can I support you right now?”

I recently had an organizer come to my house and it was so freeing to admit, “Yes I suck at organizing, I don’t really want to do it unless I’m menstruating (pronounced menstroo-ating), and I need your help!” I have a feeling hiring her is going to be worth every penny. Just the energy of having her here was motivating because I felt like I was on a team instead of on a solo mission trying to figure out just how many more bins I should buy.

And when my business coach suggested yesterday that maybe attending a circle where I can be a participant and not the facilitator would be helpful, I knew she had hit the nail on the head. Just like teachers need teachers and therapists have therapists.

We all need networks of support. It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of wisdom and strength. It’s simply part of being human. We’re wired for connection and community. You do what you’re good at so I can do what I’m good at. We take turns. Vulnerability, transparency, collaboration.

And by the way, does anyone know any emotional support doodles?