learning to smile
Dear you,
I know it's hard to speak your mind for fear of hurting the feelings of others. I know you are sensitive. I also know you are strong, brave, and smart. I know you have great integrity. Honesty is important to your heart and soul. I know how hard you work to see and listen to the sweet little girl inside of you, that bright light that you will never abandon to make someone else feel better or less uncomfortable. That’s not your job. There is a way...kindness, consideration, respect, empathy, compassion, love...it's everything. Intention is how you begin.
Stay open and soft. But it's also okay to protect your sensitive soul with bubble wrap from time to time.
I know it sucks to feel misunderstood. To feel alone. To feel like a fish out of water. To feel like you don't belong where you are and yearn to be somewhere else where you are, not only accepted, but celebrated. It can be hard to find. But when you find yourself, you will find that.
There is always a way to be here. Think of Charlotte in yoga, reminding you to breath - in her soft voice padding around the room with spritzes and sprays...Grab blocks, straps, blankets, bolsters...all the support you need is right here waiting for you.
Remember what you heard someone say on that podcast recently? That when you belong to yourself, you belong in every room. How freeing and amazing and beautiful is that!? That you belong here. We all do.
Keep belonging to yourself.
When you hurt, don't sweep it under the rug. You deserve more than that. You deserve your love, attention, respect, time. Slow down, take a break, a breath, rest. Listen, look at, be with…the pain. Be honest, radically honest. What do you want to do? Say? How do you want to feel? What would make the pain dissolve a bit in your chest? It doesn't need to go away. It can stay put for as long as it needs to. Hi, sweet pain, I'm here. I love you.
Why is everyone rushing? So busy! And fast. Take your time. There is no where to go but right here.
When your youngest said this morning looking at photos of her as a baby that she was learning to smile, you said, yes, that's it because aren't we all just learning how to smile or learning how to keep smiling when the world around us is filled with so much hate, chaos, confusion? Those that are lost, don't know or understand themselves, they don't know how to get back there. Greedy, power-hungry - not worth your precious time. They think they are separate from or better than. Let them go. Let it all go. You are not in control. Wish them well. It's not your job. They won't change because you want them to. But they may change if they feel love from you even a tiny bit. Even if only energetically.
A man I met recently spoke of his work with suicidal teens. He spoke of the letters of children who died by suicide. Some read that they wanted to be noticed, smiled at. That’s it. Smiled at. It’s enough to break your heart.
Focus, go to…spend time with...the people that really love you and show up for you and send you random texts saying, How are you? Or, I'm thinking of you. Or, I'm sorry. Or, what do you need? Or, I love you. If you can’t find them yet, be them. Express your kindness. And they are out there waiting for you.
You deserve to feel good. You deserve ease, love, illumination and affection. You deserve to be here along with everyone else exactly as you are and exactly as you wish to be. You are not wrong or bad for being born as you are and for wanting what you want. Don't let their small mindedness and their fear impact your greatness.
Find a way to be here that aligns with your soul, your light, your inner innocence and youth, and your old, ancient, wise, sage. When you belong to yourself, you belong everywhere. Take time getting to know you because you are worth knowing.