crazy ass wonderful ride
Good afternoon, the last one of 2022!
I’ve been journaling about 2022. The words that come to mind when I reflect on the past year, what I accomplished, learned, and lost.
There was a lot to celebrate and a lot to let go of. When I feel myself grasping, tightening, trying to understand, I actively practice letting go of it all because surrendering and releasing the grip is really the only thing I can control. I can’t alter the circumstances of the past, my own feelings or those of other’s. I can attempt to be with it all and ask myself gently, is there another way to get through this? And often the answer is yes. More acceptance, grace, and gratitude. Easier said than done but certainly worth trying.
Something else that has helped me get through the past month feeling more lighthearted and less stressed is Carol. #ChristmascarolwithCarol was conceived one late Autumn Day when I should have been doing 132 other practical, productive, and reasonable things. But as I met with two friends about a day-long retreat we were hosting, I blurted out, So I think I’m going to make videos about a Christmas carol singing alter ego. They laughed and encouraged me to do it. I smiled thinking to myself that friends who encourage weirdness are the best!
I owe my flair for silliness to my mom. She sung opera, danced in the aisle at the grocery store, and while playing Scategories, laughed out loud, squealing, “I’m gonna wet my pants.” My favorite way to honor her - as the saying goes - is to be the things I love most about the people that are gone. Her lightheartedness and love of fun, family, and friends along with her sense of humor is what helped us get through some of our saddest moments. And just this morning, my son brought me a piece of turkey bacon and I asked for a crispier piece - I am my mother’s daughter - whenever she ordered bacon, she always said, “May I have crispy bacon please?”
Taking ourselves less seriously is good medicine. There is so much we need to take seriously but if we can let go of the need to be practical, productive, and reasonable in favor of more laughter than why not engage in a bit more Tom Foolery from time to time? Someone posted on the Nextdoor app the other day about streaking teenagers. Good for them. But now I hear it was a prank and there weren’t really any streaking teenagers. Also maybe good for them? I mean we drove around the other night making my husband leave messages on people’s voice mails in his “grand pappy” accent. I understand the need for pranks and giggles in this very serious and chaotic world we live in.
As I’m saying goodbye to 2022 and hello to 2023 with no great fanfare or big resolutions. I want to pat myself on the back for all of it and not focus all my energy on what needs to change. I’m not into unnecessary pressure and too many obligations. I’m making peace with the fact that things are never going to look like I want them to. They most likely won’t be tied up neatly with a pretty bow. Something will be off and irritating or upsetting and we have no control over it. Tuesday our flight was cancelled to Colorado, we we were all annoyed and it could have been so much worse. So instead of skiing, we went to the Melting Pot and ate a lot of cheese and chocolate, also a great family activity.
There is always a way through even when the way through isn’t what we planned, hoped or expected. It’s hard loosening our grip, and it’s endlessly difficult being a human but it helps me to remember that we’re never alone and there is beauty, goodness, and kindness out there but really more than out there is the infinite goodness when we look in here.
My wish for the planet in 2023 is less hate, judgment, separation, and tragedy. And more inclusivity, peace, ease, acceptance, joy, laughter, good health for our environment and every living thing that inhabits it. More unconditional love and less suffering everywhere for everyone. Nothing is perfect. We can keep letting go of what no longer works, letting in what does, and continuing to shine our bright, beaming lights as we mosey along on this crazy ass wonderful ride.
Happy New Year, everyone!