in a mood

Usually I write about what brings me joy, what makes me smile. Today is not that day. I grew up feeling like my feelings were too much or inappropriate. I grew up feeling like I couldn’t be upset. Or that there was something wrong with me when I would feel down, sad, or angry. So today I’m giving myself and any of you out there permission to feel angry, upset, and undone.

I’m mad. Pissed. Infuriated.

• With lawmakers who refuse to do more to protect our kids from gun violence.

• At people who defend guns over our kid’s lives.

• That at my daughter’s play last night, I felt scared.

• That my state is about to pass a ban on abortions after 6 weeks when some women don’t even know they’re pregnant yet.

• At hate, selfishness, separation, power, and greed.

• That books are being banned and that showing children the statue of David because he has a penis is a problem here in Florida.

• cancer.

• That a girl (not Gwyneth) ran into me skiing and now I can’t go for walks, that I still need crutches, and potentially, surgery.

• When people say:

• It could be worse.

• TMI.

• Need to know basis.

• Things happen for a reason.

• There’s no such thing as an accident.

• I was today years old…

• Don’t cry.

• That the people that love and help trans kids - mainly their parents and doctors - and the kids themselves - don’t get a say about what is best for them.

• Plastic.

• Natural disasters.

• Red tide.

• The word sargassum and sargassum itself.

This list is obviously not exhaustive. Feel free to add to it or make your own. It’s liberating. I’m a big believer in being positive but I also value honesty and authenticity above all. It’s okay to be angry and to let it be known. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine. I’m heartbroken but not hopeless. I know this too shall pass. In the meantime…deep breaths.