come together

One conversation I had recently started with periods, ventured into the book, Pussy: A Reclamation by Regina Thomashauer, which I haven’t read yet, but most likely will, included menopause, and ended with near death experiences. We really covered the gamut, I’d say.

Then, coincidentally or not, I saw the movie, Are you There God, it’s me Margaret, one of my favorite Judy Blume books. I was counting down the days to see it. And it didn’t disappoint. The casting was perfect. The actress, Abby Ryder Fortson, who plays Margaret was undeniably adorable. And who wouldn’t want Kathy Bates as a grandma or Rachel McAdams as a mom?

In one scene, Rachel McAdams runs into another mom from school who happens to be the president of the PTA. The woman tells Margaret’s mom that she has her in mind for at least 3 different committees. McAdams replies, “That sounds great, I’d love to, but I don’t want to, but thank you for asking me.” And gets in her car with a big smile. I love, I don’t want to as an excuse.

I also consumed Jancee Dunn’s new book, Hot and Bothered: What No One Tells you about Menopause this week. It’s incredibly informative, full of tips, recommendations, humor, and honesty - kind of like an adult version of Margaret but this one’s non-fiction.  

Since Margaret came out in 1970, there are certainly things that have gotten easier for girls and women. The fact that I didn’t need to drag my daughter to the girl’s section next to the boy’s section in a department store to be fitted for a bra is a definite step in the right direction. Target sells them and you can buy them easily enough online.

But the stark reality that our daughters are growing up in a time with less rights than we had is devastating. It’s important to note, regardless of how you feel personally about abortion, there are women with unviable pregnancies currently being forced to carry them to term. It’s completely inhumane.

And you don’t need me to tell you that this is all going on in the midst of mass shooting after mass shooting. In many states, including the one I reside in, gun laws are getting more lenient not less.

There are book bans galore and continuous cruel legislation targeting diversity in schools, immigrants, and gay and trans people. However, you choose to explain this - it’s happening and it’s impacting innocent people’s lives in very real and harmful ways.

At home, we’re watching season 7 of Queer Eye where the messages of kindness, openness, and inclusivity abound. I was weeping when one woman said she wasn’t ashamed of being gay, but she didn’t want to be a problem for other people either. I can assure you this kindhearted, hard-working woman is most definitely not the problem.

If you are feeling at a loss or angry, scared or uncertain, you are not alone. Trust what you are feeling. Those that tell you that you’re overreacting, being crazy or too political are most likely benefitting from you not speaking up.

When reading a book about menopause feels like a Caribbean vacation, you know the world is mad. But I believe there is more good than bad, more right than wrong and lots of us here trying.

At an event at school the other day, a friend of my husband’s told me that when his kids were growing up, they would often sit around the table and talk about what they did to help someone that day. This is the kind of world I want to live in – a world where we talk openly about who we love, how we feel, and how we can best show up and support one another.