on the other side of here

My same bff who inspired me to share my first blog post on Father’s Day 13 years ago inspired this post too.

She sent me a photo of her running errands last weekend. On her feet were two completely different Birkenstocks. Like they didn’t look at all the same, different style, different color.

I laughed out loud. Wanting her to know she was not alone, I told her about going to Target that morning for one thing and one thing only. When I got home, I realized I didn’t get the one thing I went there for.  

Last week after my summer zoom circle, I smelled something burning. I yelled, “Who is burning something in the oven”? It was me. I was. It wasn’t the oven, it was a paper on my desk that sat too close to a lit candle.

We’re doing some crazy ass shit these days. (Don’t worry, I will be extra careful with candles from now.) But I can’t blame it all on my age and hormones (pronounced hor monaise) because I’ve been doing stuff like this all along. Maybe not as consistently.

If you can’t find your keys or your phone or the air pods in your ears or you called someone the wrong name or you can’t recall the title of the book you are reading, let’s be friends and laugh at how absurd this is.

And if you’re missing someone special today like I am, know I’m with you. Somehow that makes it better too, I think. That we aren’t alone, that we take turns giving and receiving, hurting and helping, remembering and forgetting, living and grieving.

I read these lines from Henri J M Nouwen from his book, Bread for the Journey, in an article the other day and it made me feel grateful to be here and so deeply thankful for my loved ones on both sides.

“Remembering loved ones means letting their spirits inspire us in our daily lives. They can gently help us as we make decisions on our journeys…Sometimes they can become more intimate to us after death than when they were with us in life.

I ask for help from my mother and sister not because they were always great models of excellence – far from it – but because they weren’t. Their brokenness seems to be just what I need. I can feel them empathizing with me, understanding when I tell them I feel like such a mess.”  

Happy Father’s Day and Happy, healthy, peaceful, safe, and joyful first day of summer!